The River Green

Work, school and home. This is a small glimpse of my Friday so far…

1. Despite having 11 days to gather information for the website I am currently not yet getting paid to produce, and also despite a ‘go live’ date of 1/24, which is on the other side of this weekend, there is no content for a website that took nearly 8 months to program. There is about 45k lines of code in this website, 25k of which have been re-writes, changes and ‘oh yeah, put this on the website, too’. Now, at 6pm on the day the information was supposed to have been given to me, I am getting ‘What kind of information do you need, again?’ Ugh.
2. My frustration with school endlessly marches on with a lack of follow-through in the design of my database class. The terms that basically provide the language necessary for knowing the difference between Excel and Access… are incomplete and sorely lacking in definition. Also my PolySci instructor is a bit of a doddering old fool, to put it kindly.
3. Living in Pittsburgh is awesome. I would not like to live anywhere else on the planet. Having said that, could we not have so much snow?! My very good friend deploys to Iraq as part of the Army for a year next month and she was in town for the last time yesterday. Because of the snow, we were unable to meet for our good-byes. I was so upset by that. Also, I’m not thrilled about taking the Christmas tree down because I have so much other work to do.

Basically, I wanted to whine about all this crap so that when things get bad in the future, I can look back and see that I actually had a rather easy January 2011.

Labels: classes , Pittsburgh , seasons , snow

Forgive me this post. It is so very White and Nerdy as am I.

What follows is a series of posts on pittsburgh craigslist > rants & raves from 23 June 2009:

• The Wigger Steven Hawking (Greenfield Nation)
  Date: 2009-06-23, 9:54AM EDT
  Somewhere in Greenfield there is a concentrated point of wigger energy(WE). Its drawing all the WE from surrounding Pittsburgh areas toward it. Its feeding off rap, white tee's, black and milds, newports, ....anything that contains even trace amounts of WE. Once the WE is pulled toward this point the energy attaches itself to th other WE swirling "inside", and collapses inward creating highly dense and concentrated Wiggerishness. Its extremely dangerous, and highly misunderstood. Anything coming into contact, or even close proximity with this Wigger Vortex(WV) will instantly be ionized with PURE RAW WE! Causing a transformation which has the power to change the very fabric of existence.
  

• re: The Wigger Steven Hawking (Greenfield Nation) (Needs re-write)
  Date: 2009-06-23, 10:08AM EDT
  Sorry dude, good effort but it's not working for me. As the Skipper aka Jonas Grumby (Alan Hale, Jr.) would say to the Professor aka Roy Hinkley (Russell Johnson), "Can we get that in English please?"
  

• The Wigger Steven Hawking II (Greenfield Nation)
  Date: 2009-06-23, 10:49AM EDTThe potential for confusion exists surrounding the phenomenon of WE. Observers from rural environs may have difficulty comprehending the complexities of the WV. Some have dedicated their lives to the enlightenment of the masses concerning all things wiggerish. Try this...... G=(WE+Wu)÷ 3(WV). Remember ordah of operations. Solve for WE............
  

• Re: The Wigger Steven Hawking (Swissvale Nation)
  Date: 2009-06-23, 11:05AM EDT
  

  Somewhere in Greenfield there is a concentrated point of wigger energy(WE). Its drawing all the WE from surrounding Pittsburgh areas toward it. Its feeding off rap, white tee's, black and milds, newports, ....anything that contains even trace amounts of WE.

  There's not much WE yet in Swissvale, but there is a thug singularity (TS) in nearby Rankin, on Kenmawr before the bridge. It is the East End epicenter of thug energy (TE), located precisely at the convenience store on the corner of the newly redesigned intersection. Here, thug energy photons (TEPs) swirl about and converge, bending with the extreme gravitational pull of the TS. Only they can escape alive (being pure TE)--nothing else would dare enter.
  

  Once the WE is pulled toward this point the energy attaches itself to th other WE swirling "inside", and collapses inward creating highly dense and concentrated Wiggerishness. Its extremely dangerous, and highly misunderstood.

  Only the TEPs know what occurs in the TS, though others speculate it is, in fact, the purchase of white tees, Newports and Black and Milds.
  

  Anything coming into contact, or even close proximity with this Wigger Vortex(WV) will instantly be ionized with PURE RAW WE!

  I've learned that one way to neutralize this effect is by spending approximately twenty minutes at the Starbucks in Squirrel Hill, where Caucasian electromagnetic waves (CEWs) penetrate the body, expunging all WE.
  

  Causing a transformation which has the power to change the very fabric of existence.

  Eventually there will be no turning back.

I'm not sure if this crosses the line of anything. I find it incredibly funny. If it offends anyone, I apologize.

Labels: Greenfield , Pittsburgh

Just about four months ago it was -15F in the 'Burgh. I know this because as much as I wanted to attend the Steelers Super Bowl Victory parade, it was just too cold, so I recorded it from the internet and watched it like three times. Today was different- and in so many ways.

Today it was time for a 17 year drought to come to an end- that of a Penguins Stanley Cup Victory Parade. It was great weather- a little too hot for Marieke, but just right for me. We left as soon as the announcement was made online that streets were being closed ahead of the parade. Driving along the route that would take us to the First Ave Garage, I took notice of several dozen people waiting along Greenfield Ave for a bus that would take them to where we were going. The bus that ended up passing us on Second Ave was stuffed with revelers wearing jerseys. 87, 9, 48, 13, 11- even 81 and quite a few 66- all headed to the same place for the same reason: to welcome home an old friend- Lord Stanley.

It wasn't until we spent four minutes driving in the upward spiral to the top floor of the garage that I realized just how many people could potentially be at the parade. My estimation bore a smaller number than that of the Super Bowl parade.

With parking ticket in hand, we marched toward the elevator with all the excitement of school children (at least I was that excited). Luckily the first elevator was too full to join and we had to wait for another. It was lucky because we came across a very awesome, very large, very green poster held by a woman named Jenny. She proceeded to tell us that she is from Nova Scotia and her sign was for Sidney Crosby. Well, that geeked me out and I immediately had to have a picture of her and her poster. Just new to the city, having only been here since Friday, she asked if she could tag along with us since she didn't know where anything was. We were only too happy to oblige. I always think of Pittsburgh as a friendly town (as long as your not driving on the parkways or trying to merge onto one) and I rather enjoy making others feel welcome here, so it was an added treat for me.

Jenny is training in Monroeville to be a paramedic and said many times that she can not believe that the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. I kindly informed her that since she had been in the city since Friday (the very day we won the Cup), that she would now have to remain in town for forever since she seemed to bring some good ol' fashion Canadian good luck with her.

After scoping out the large crowds int he parking garage on The Boulevard, we decided to remain closer to Grant St near the TV crews because there would probably be alot of pauses so that people would be able to talk to the news and that meant we would have ample opportunity to ogle our favorite players or even *gasp* the Cup itself.

Our spot was chosen, we rooted ourselves and prepared for the spectacle we were about to witness. Jenny had other ideas, excusing her way to the very front so that her poster could be seen by Crosby. A cameraman from Channel 4 took interest and interviewed her about it, much to our amazement, since she had only just gotten to the city only four days ago and now she would be on the local news. We chose to stay put and enjoyed the view just as well from our spot (the best one, in my opinion). There was so much to see and take in during the hour we had to wait before the parade started. It was harrowing for me to admit that I was in a very large crowd of people, but I was determined to maintain composure and focused on the signs that other people made, their championship shirts, everyone's hats, the dog whose person was wearing a classic #66 jersey, complete with a 'Badger' Bob Hohnson patch worn on the jerseys of the first Pittsburgh Penguins Stanley Cup Champions in 1991.

The police horses were agitated by the occasional pop of confetti crackers and their bowels were clearly quite disturbed by them; the people surrounding us frequently wondered aloud weather or not the situation would pose an unsurmountable obstacle for the parade participants. Marieke and I, taking the high road in the matter simply giggled to ourselves.

Alby Oxenrider from Channel 11 wanted to interview the crowd near our location, but could not get through the barricades and so he decided to crowd surf down to the sidewalk. Literally. He jumped into the crowd of people and for about a minute, was completely at the mercy of the arm strength of those below him.

The corner of Grant St and The Boulevard of the Allies is normally a very major intersection and the Trib Total Media decided a few years ago to install a news ticker and electronic billboard at the location. For once, there were no adverts on the billboard and no news on the ticker. In their place, a series of very nice photographs from the trophy presentation at the end of Game 7 and other Penguins tributes were displayed.

We had been at our 'spot' for nearly an hour when we heard someone mention by relay of a cell phone text message, that the parade had started and that Mario Lemieux was leading it off. Three large PAT buses went by shortly thereafter, their marquee red 'SPECIAL' and 'LET'S GO PENS!'. I mentioned to Marieke that they were going to be used to transport the parade participants back from the end of the route, a supposition that was carried throughout the nearby crowd. The excitement in the crowd was palpable. The Pittsburgh Police Pipes and Drums led the parade, followed by a Pittsburgh Police Color Guard. Then someone in the first row shouted, 'There's Mario!!' We all gawked at the same time. One of the busiest corners in downtown Pittsburgh was transformed into a schoolyard filled with children awaiting the arrival of the ice cream truck.

With amazing alacrity, a black convertible arrived just in front of us. Seated in the back and along the rear panel were Mario Lemieux and co-owner Ron Burkle. The crowd erupted in chants of 'Mario! Mario!' as he exited his car to talk to the media. My view of his person was obstructed by the throng and Marieke pointed out that the Mayor was in the car just behind Mario's. I snapped a few shots of the guy as he commented that he's not as important.

As times bring special moments to the city I often think how much Bob O'Connor would have loved to have seen them. *sigh*

After Le Magnifique rounded his car and hoped back in, Mayor followed suit and had a short pressie. His re-mount into his car was not as graceful since he almost fell down and went boom.

This was followed by three 'Just Ducky' tour buses filled with lucky people whose identities remain a mystery. Then it began. The twenty-seven Pittsburgh Penguin players perched in the rear of pick-up trucks of alternating black/red colors (helpful in piecing together a chronology of the parade) began passing our vantage point, each one briefly stopping while the one in front paused to allow an interview.

The order was as follows:

Truck 1- Satan (81), Kennedy (48), Fedotenko (26)
Truck 2- Curry (1), Thiessen (30), Garon (32), Scuderi (4)
Truck 3- Boucher (43), Staal (11), Goligoski (3), Minard (23)
Truck 4- Taffe (22), Dupuis (9), Kunitz (14)
Truck 5- Jeffrey (42), Talbot (25), Guerin (13)- Also the Prince of Wales Trophy.
Dan Bylsma and his family followed the fifth truck and he was kind enough to get out and walk around, greeting the fans that lined the route. I got maybe one or two shots of him and they're not that good.
Truck 6- Gill (2), Adams (27), Letang (58)
Truck 7- Eaton (7), Lovejoy (65), Godard (28), Zigomanis (15)
Truck 8- Orpik (44), Sykora (17), Cooke (24)
Truck 9- Malkin (71) with his Conn Smythe award for MVP and now famous parents in tow.
Truck 10- Crosby (87), Fleury (28) with the Stanley Cup.

When the Cup went by, I shrieked like a girl. It was the first time I had ever seen the Cup that close. Seventeen years ago when all of Pittsburgh Public School students skipped class to attend the victory rally at Three Rivers Stadium, it appeared a dot whose definition became apparent only when it was hoisted by Lemieux. I was at first struck by how shiny it was, then by how old it was, then by the fact that it is the same cup that has been hoisted and paraded and won for the last 111 years. Truly a moment to behold for which I have a total of 33 images to remember it by.

After that, everything became a blur. We met up with Jenny who said she didn't even get to see the Cup because she was holding her poster up for Crosby, who ended up not seeing it, but Fleury did and gave her a thumbs up. We exchanged contact info and started back toward the garage.

On our way, I ended up two paces from Sally Wiggin. She was so polite and even posed for a snapshot. It was a really awesome way to end a really awesome day.

I have no recollection of what happened between then and now, aside from sorting the nearly 700 pictures I took of the day, getting the exact spellings of the player's names correct and writing this.

It is now 3:45am and I shall slumber with visions of the Cup dancing in my head.

Labels: Penguins , Pittsburgh , sports , Stanley Cup

We are simple people here in Pittsburgh, PA. If you've ever been here, you know that we are a drinking town with a football problem. New York we are not. Neither are we 'The Pitts'. I love this city, for all of its problems and 'growing pains' prove that we are a resilient people rising to various challenges and thriving from them.

I'm not the only resident who was completely shocked to hear about this alleged attack; while McCain's politics are not those of the vast majority of us, we tend to be respectful of others' opinions, views, lifestyles, etc. It seemed misplaced, improbable in my city- as it turned out to be.

Congressman Murtha recently accused the area of being racist to a certain degree. This is a label that is not entirely mis-attributed but has become less relevant in recent years. Due in part, not surprisingly, to the appointment as head coach of our beloved Steelers, Mike Tomlin, one of only ten African-Americans to hold such a post in NFL history (thank you Dan Rooney!).

The point is this...

Such a claim that a big, bad, black man robbed then sexually assaulted a defenseless white woman in the name of a black presidential candidate plays not into the secret fears of closet racists or perpetrators of the Bradley Effect, but of anxious liberals wondering if their vote is or is not going to become one of the eventual 10 million ultimately not counted at the hands of Republicans who will do anything to keep all but every vote from being counted in our 'battleground' state. Call me a conspiracy nut if you must, but it is clear that someone at McCain's Pittsburgh camp did not explicitly discourage this woman to self-mutilate herself so that every one of our supposed deepest, darkest racist fears would play out at the polls in the form of a Bradley Effect, thus delivering Pennsylvania's 23 Electoral Votes squarely in the column for McCain. Far from being a conspiracy nut, I'm a realist having read 'Block the Vote' and seen first hand, in November and December of 2000, the shameless, deepest, darkest depths of morality into which the Republican party will delve in order to circumvent the election process to grow, keep or obtain power.

The point is also this...

In a state whose record is firmly Democratic in all but three of the last eleven Presidential elections (a fact I remind myself of, then smile inwardly at the pundits who still claim that Pennsylvania is 'up for grabs'), in a city whose proudly Democratic roots go back to 1930, you would indeed have to be crazy to support McCain.

Labels: Pittsburgh , politics

About 2 years ago, I was firmly committed to moving from Pittsburgh to another city (possible destinations included Boston, San Diego and Dayton). I can't remember the reason for my sudden disdain for the place I've called home for most of my life. For maybe the 5th time, Marieke and I took a visiting friend to see the Pink Floyd laser show at the Science Center. Corny as this may sound, the notion of moving away evaporated when the last piece 'Time' played. When the lyric 'Home, home again' came round, the visual was of the city. It was at that moment that I knew I would always be here in one form or another.

Thoughts of what might have been had we moved periodically haunt my imagination. Ever annoyed with the constant state of construction that the city is under, these periods are getting closer to one another.

Pittsburgh's colors are black & yellow; we are the city whose collective professional sports franchises have the same official colors. This random fact is thrown in because the color should actually be ORANGE- the color of construction cones.

Pittsburgh is geographically located near West Virginia. Evidence of this is present at almost all PennDot construction sites vis-a-vis the alleged propensity our neighbors to the south have of producing incestuous offspring. Why in the name of all that is reasonable would two of the three lanes of the outbound 376 interstate (the far right being an eventual exit lane) need to be closed only to have one of them open again after the exit? Come on! Do they think gas comes from water? The city is already suffering with the title of 'most rude drivers'. One wonders why.

We live in the east end of the city, a location we chose based on it's central location in that you can get pretty much anywhere in a relatively short amount of time and with a relative direct route. Now, we can't get anywhere.

The Blvd. of the Allies is closed from the parkway split until the S. Oakland stretch. What good is the damned road at this point? The whole reason it exists in the first place is so that we all don't have to sit in parkway traffic.

Without warning, signage or clear detour, the part of Greenfield that contains the gas station, Pizza Hut, Brewster's, the laundromat, the 'nice' Chinese restaurant and the only way to get to Schenley Park, I-376 in any direction and the other parts of Greenfield, was coned off and the pavement removed. The two lanes of the Greenfield bridge were promptly reduced to one and the collective blood pressure of our 'Fine Residential Community' went up. It has been like that for almost a week now. Again, COME ON!! With the help of a shovel and that big rolly-thing to squish the asphalt into pavement, I, by myself, could have been done with resurfacing in under two days.

All of this begs the question, 'What the hell are they digging all this shit up NOW for?!?!' There are tourists here for once and the Vintage Grand-Prix was this weekend, so I'm sure all the incoming spectators, participants and organizers were just thrilled to have come here in the first place when they discovered that half of the gas they just spent their life savings on would be eaten up whilst sitting in any number of traffic jams our fair city and state created with the asinine construction schedule they pulled from their sphincters.

By the stone of Juno I swear that if this city ever wants to become a place where people want to stay after graduating college, it needs to realize that when tying up traffic on the parkway, three main roads into Oakland and the only realistic access to the Waterfront, parents and prospective students will run to the nearest Penn State campus and enroll there. Why we won't even have to worry about what's to happen to all of the city's graduating student bodies- WE WON'T HAVE ANY!!

I hear the weather in San Diego is nice this time of year (all year 'round in fact).

Labels: construction , Pittsburgh