PA! Marieke and I are going to visit her home of Waynesboro (which must be pronounced Wayyyns'-bur-rah). The entire visit is a surprise for Marieke's friend, Brian, arranged by Brian's wife, Katy. It is for his 30th, which was earlier this week.
At first mention of a nearly week-long visit to the crotch of the state, my initial reaction was wide-eyed terror. You see, Wayynsburrah has no Starbucks, no Dunkin' Donuts- in short- no good coffee for miles. Our last visit was cursed with green-colored Sanka swill to greet us in the morning and a visit from Bambi's mom on the hood of our car for the trip back to Pittsburgh (and would you believe that we still had to pay the toll?!?). I've become quite the caffeine addict, so doing without the first morning cup while checking my email is nothing less than a legitimate reason for sheer panic. Though Katy assured us that there is now a Starbucks in Chambersburg, where we will be staying, and they have a computer, the mere thought of being so far away from civilization is still unsettling.
Our governor, during the early 2008 primary season, described this area as 'Alabama'. I can understand the statement as there are no WiFi zones anywhere in Adams county. To make matters worse for this city boy, the dead silence and blinding darkness make for difficulty sleeping. I'm still not entirely certain why people have to 'dig their own wells' and why that means we can't leave the water running while brushing our teeth- under any circumstances. Upon hearing there is a new WalMart, my first thought was that everyone in town must work there. Not only is this an enthusiastically 'red' part of the state, but it seems to be the last refuge of the mullet. The epitome of my apprehensions about our destination is that literally everyone is a Penn State fan. Ugh. As we all know, Penn State sucks, Penn State sucks, P-E-N-N-S-T sucks forever and all time.
Not everything is bad. In fact, I can think of several aspects that are highly contrasting to the urban jungle of Pittsburgh:
- while smelly at first, the air is cleaner
- the water silky, smooth, tasty
- people there are nicer, if one can look past a slight racist undertone
- the corn clearly comes from heaven
- a picturesque landscape surrounds the entire area
- the peaches alone are worth their weight in platinum
When Marieke first took me there almost 10 years ago (not my first visit to a rural area, but the first up-close-and-personal experience in such environs), I insisted that we stop along the road so I might take a picture of a cow that was grazing at the edge of the pasture. She really let me see the area through her eyes and it was the best trip I had been on in my entire life (until she took me to Holland). After touring the battlefields of Gettysburg, which appealed to my nerdness, we dined at the Dobbin House and then went for a horse drawn carriage ride past a tavern serving civil war reenactment characters. Grandma Margie's mashed potatoes, meatloaf and lima beans dinner represented for me a slice of Americana that I could never have experienced in the city. The place certainly left an impression.
Perhaps I'm secretly looking forward to the trip. It is, after all, the only time I can get Marieke to play Botticelli.
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