When this whole school thing began, I had such a clear picture of what I wanted to get out of it and what I was doing it for and what the end looked like. So much has happened since then. Almost everything in my life is different than the first day I started and almost nothing in my life is the same from 18 months ago. So much is different. So little is the same. I’ve lost so much and gained so much and I don’t know if I like what I have now or what I had then. It is almost impossible to fathom that I would ever have a chance at that life again… it was so fleeting and so finite- and I knew it would be- but maybe I didn’t want it to end, so I just kind of ignored how short it was going to be.
In this new version of what purports to be my life, I do have a small chance of something, but it is only a glimmer- an ember, barely able to hold on to its light. It is not the glowing bastion of hope and promise it first appeared.
My classes are about to end for the term, and then a very much needed two week break. Once again, the end of my contract is coming upon the end of my term and I have so much work to do for both. Yet all I can seem to do is sleep and play computer games. Or sit on the sofa and watch tv. Everything but, in other words. My focus is way off from where it needs to be and I hope I can look back on this and realize that it was all just the malaise before the storm.
I surprised myself by getting my Java project done, despite the heralding of doom by the instructor that it was the hardest assignment in the entire class. There was only a slight oversight on my part, but it was easily fixed and now all that is left is comments.
Oh… and Shannon is having her baby as I write this.
Posts
0 comments :
Post a Comment