The River Green

Percosets are nice. I'm asleep all the time and I swear Marieke is calling my name all the time.

The surgery was nasty. I had a lot of bad experiences. The first was when they did an ultrasound through my shoulder to administer a nerve block for my entire arm. It was painful and felt like I was being stabbed by a machete. The damn block barely worked anyhow and I needed some additional anesthetic. Guess what happened then? I had a bad reaction to the anesthetic they gave me and broke into a cold sweat and felt like I was drowning in sand.

What was really scary was that the doctor or whatever was there kept cursing his computerized instruments for not having the correct display or for not working or for whatever... but it was downright scary as shit, especially since I knew what was happening.

Afterward, I woke in the recovery room with mom and Marieke there. My finger is covered in gauze and according to the x-ray, very straight, but one of the four screws has no head. It broke off during the procedure.

My whole right arm was numb and it felt like I had a mannequin's arm instead of my own; I couldn't even look at it. So unsettling was it to have a portion of my own body just completely not function, I had to go for a walk int he hopes that my body would metabolize the anesthesia quicker.

Marieke scrambled to make me comfortable. Within ten minutes, the swivel chair was in the middle of te living room, with a dining room chair in front of it for feet proppage. She was a saint taking care of me. And I know it was difficult because it was just a month since we quit smoking.

Kara came over to keep Marieke company, but had to leave suddenly and without much explanation. She has become something of a bitch since she moved away. Oh well. Back to my percosets. Hopefully I'll be able to write more as the days go on and maybe I'll clean this post up a bit since I am aware that it is a bit shit right now.

Labels: surgery